


Little Bit Older, Little Bit Wiser, But Still Madly In-Love With You

by MovieWocher



Category: Fifth Harmony (Band)
Genre: Camren - Freeform, F/F, a lot of time had passed, camila still left the band, everything and nothing has changed, this is Camila and Lauren seeing each other after a number of years
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-20
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-02-04 16:20:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12774801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MovieWocher/pseuds/MovieWocher
Summary: Ten years had passed since Camila left FIfth Harmony. Within that time, the group eventually said their final goodbyes and had gone their separate ways. One would think, they would have gotten over all that drama. Well maybe Ally, Dinah, and Normani did but Camila and Lauren had unresolved issues. And now, they are all bubbling up like a badly shaken champagne.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I am eleven months too late to this party. Sigh. I would have remained blissfully ignorant if not for Havana. But still a story is a story. Maybe there's a few who would still like to read. 
> 
> First time writing camren here.

Camila sighed with contentment as she leaned back on the lounge chair. She wanted to go straight home but it was her PA’s birthday and even though Camila told her not to go to work, she insisted. So now after spending hours in the studio, recording her 2nd all-Spanish album, they’re both in the hotel lounge for a mini-celebration. It was one of the more expensive ones so everything was just comfortable and exquisite. Her PA has been with her for years and Camila wanted to show her appreciation. They were talking quietly when a group of people came in, overpowering the piano playing in the middle of the room.

Camila tried to ignore the noise but then a familiar raspy voice over-powered the entire group.

“Guys, keep it down. This is exactly why we left the party, we all wanted to go somewhere quiet to wind down.”  There was a murmur of agreement and the noise died down. A collective sigh of relief was heard from the rest of the diners.

Camila subtly tried to look over her shoulders but her PA reached out to get her attention.

“I’m sorry, Mila. I didn’t know Lauren and her group were coming over here. She has her single release party tonight in the other side of LA.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Camila tried to pass it off with a laugh. “Why should I care if Lauren is here? But still, we better get going. I’m sure your family wants to see you and greet you before they all go to bed.”

“Yes, they’ve been texting me especially my mom,” The PA made an exaggerated imitation of her mom, causing Camila to laugh.

“Great. Get the bill and use my card. I’ll just head on to the restroom and meet you outside.”

The PA nodded as she waved for the waitress.

Camila stood up, telling herself that she really doesn’t care. She only wanted to leave because one, she was tired, and two her PA needs to go home. It has nothing to do with the woman with the dark brown hair and emerald eyes. But of course, she took the farthest route she can find to avoid Lauren’s table. When she reached the safety of the restroom, she breathed a sigh of relief and went inside one of the cubicles.

It must have been only a minute when she got out. But the exact time she swung the door, the main door to the rest room opened and Lauren stepped in. For a second, they both froze as their eyes met each other.

“Excuse me.” An elderly lady made her way out of the bathroom forcing Lauren to release her hold on the door and get in. When the door closed, they were all alone.

Camila gave Lauren a polite smile before heading to the sink to wash her hands. The next thing she knew, Lauren was standing next to her looking in the mirror, fixing her hair.

“How are you?” Lauren asked nonchalantly.

“Good. And you?”

“Great.”

Camila realized that she had been washing her hands longer than necessary. She turned off the faucet and wringing her hands to dry them out. “Congratulations on your new single. I heard it’s really good.”

“Thank you.” Lauren said as she continued touching her hair. Then she suddenly threw her head back and started laughing hysterically.

“What?” Camila eyed Lauren suspiciously.

“I don’t know. It just seems so funny. I mean look at us, acting all civil and formal to each other as if we didn’t spend five years together smelling each other’s fart.”  

“That’s gross.”

“The old Camila would have found that funny and would have been rolling on the floor laughing at this point.”

“You said the magic phrase. The old Camila. Well, she’s not here anymore.”

“That’s a pity.” Lauren said, all serious again. “She was a great girl.”

“Cut it out, Lauren.” Camila suddenly pissed and all fired up. “Nobody cares about the past. No one remembers Fifth Harmony anymore. Least of all me.”

“Why are you so mad?” Lauren turned around to face Camila. “It wasn’t all that bad.”

“You’re right it was fun until you decided ---.” Camila trailed off, finding the will to control herself.

“Until I decided what?” Lauren demanded.

“Nothing.” Camila answered quietly. “It’s all under the bridge.”

“You can’t just ---.”

Whatever Lauren was about to say was cut off when the door opened and a woman looking early twenties entered all excited. “It’s really you,” she gushed. “I really don’t want to bother but I’m really big fan of Fifth Harmony back in the day. I have all your albums and probably attended 3 of your concerts. I just really love all of you.” She pause as she took a breath from her rambling. “Can I take a picture with you two?”

“Of course,” Camila said as she smiled at the fan.

“Sure, let’s do this.” Lauren as she placed her arms around the fan’s shoulder.

The fan took a few pictures with her phone. And after babbling about Fifth Harmony again for about five minutes eventually left them. The moment the door closed, tension filled the room once again.

“That was fun.” Lauren said. “You should have made your hand on chin pose. That would have made her year.”

“You’re infuriating,” Camila mumbled as she stormed off the restroom.   

Lauren turned back to the mirror, she knew she had matured since they last spoke to each other. But talking with Camila brought back all the drama from ten years ago. Suddenly, she felt like that twenty year old girl again.  


	2. Chapter 2

Lauren woke up to the incessant ringing of her phone. She faced the other way, trying to ignore the sound but it just kept on ringing and ringing. Letting out a few expletives, she blindly reached for her phone from her nightstand and opened one red-shot eye to see who was calling.

Dinah.                                                                                          

Any hope that the ringing would stop just went out the door. Dinah is nothing if not persistent.

“Do you know what time is it?” Lauren asked upon answering the phone.

“Are you still in bed? It’s almost noon!”

“Party yesterday remember?” Lauren said as she rolled off from bed and forced herself to sit up. “I think a drank a gallon of tequila.”

“Well, never mind that.” Dinah said over the phone. “I supposed you haven’t checked Twitter or Tumbler yet.”

“Ah… yeah.”

“Well you better. Come on, put me on speaker as you do it.”

“Dinah, this better be good.” Lauren yawned as she scrolled through her phone. Then when she saw what were being posted, all thoughts of sleeping went out of her head.

“Lolo, still there?” Dinah asked after a minute.

“Shit… that wasn’t a dream? Have you… have you talked to her?”

“I called Mila earlier but she said she’s busy recording today. I don’t really know if she’s seen it or not. So tell me what happened. Were there any fireworks?”

“Really Dinah. You’re asking that question?” Lauren groaned.

“Well, I used to be the captain of that ship. I should be made aware if I need to dust off the dirt from that hat.”

“You’re crazy Dinah. I’m going to get some additional shut eye. I’ll call you back.” Lauren said as she ended the call even as she heard Dinah protesting. But instead of going back to sleep, she rummaged through her closet until she found the banana hat that she hid from Camila years ago. She was planning to give it back sometime but then life happened. She took it back with her as she got back in bed.

_“I’m leaving.” Camila said when she was able to get Lauren away from the other girls._

_“Again?” Lauren asked as she ran her fingers through Camila’s forehead to see if she was sick._

_Camila pushed away Lauren’s hand and scowled at her. “Not this show… the group.”_

_“You’ve been saying that for ages.” Lauren said dismissively. “I have to prepare for the show.” She added starting to walk away._

_“This is not just talk, not anymore.” Camila whispered behind her back._

_Something about Camila’s voice made Lauren stop. There wasn’t any whining nor anger in her voice which usually accompanied those declarations. There was simply finality in her tone. “Whatever,” Lauren mumbled as she walked again. She didn’t want to turn around and let Camila see that’s she about to break into tears._

_Which she did anyway in the middle of the show._

Lauren look at the banana hat and hugged it tightly. After that incident, everything went downhill. Well if she was really being honest, it started well beyond that. But who’s counting anyway. Then suddenly in a fit of rage that she didn’t see coming, she threw the banana hat outside her room. “Stupid banana hat,” she said to the empty room as she snuggled down to her blanket and closed her eyes to sleep again. Then after a second, she stood angrily and picked up the banana hat then carried it back to her bed. This would have not happened if she wasn’t single.

**Camila**

After not hitting the correct note for the twentieth time, Camila and everyone decided to just break for lunch. She went to eat her lunch away from everyone citing a headache but it’s really more so she can continue to wallow in her thoughts. Seeing Lauren last night rattled her more than she can care to admit. And it was stupid. She shouldn’t be feeling this way. Sure, Lauren was her first but that was years and years ago. And there was just a lot of bad blood between them, unresolved things. For a short while, they tried to mend their friendship but it was during the time she was launching her solo career and Lauren needed to act like she hated her and was in a relationship. There was just too much pressure and stress and eventually they just stopped trying. They went on merrily their separate lives, unwilling to look back at the past. And Camila was happy and content to continue doing that.

But she can’t help but smile as she remembered how Lauren looked really good last night, bit drunk notwithstanding. Then as quickly, she frowned as she recalled how Lauren got under skin. All these years, the last thing she expected was for Lauren to make her feel confused again. Before she can continue with line of thought, her phone chimed.

“Hey mija.” It was Dinah. “I know you’re on your lunch break. Talk to me girl.”

“Cheechee,” Camila greeted back without enthusiasm.

“We are meeting later tonight.”

“Is that an order?”

“Yes. I’m picking you up at 7. Don’t make me come and get you from your apartment. You know I can easily drag you to wherever.”

“I know as you have been very generous enough to demonstrate to me a number of time. I’ll be ready at 7.”

“That’s my girl. See you later.”                                                                                                                                                  

Ending the call, Camila can’t help but smile. After reconnecting with Dinah, she has become one of her closest friends up until today. She’s crazy, in your face, no nonsense, and she loves her for that. Maybe she can forget about Lauren tonight.

**Dinah**

Dinah nodded her head in satisfaction as her phone call with Camila ended. She loves both of her friends. She loves that they are both beautiful, talented, kind, and funny. She also thinks they are both crazy and stupid for giving up. But now, it felt like the sun and moon had aligned just perfectly. They met each other again just when they are both single and hopefully with enough time to bury all the hurt feelings between them.

Smiling, she dusted her imaginary captain’s hat and placed it on her head.  


	3. Chapter 3

Camila settled down on the oversized chair and studied the menu. “What are you getting?” She asked Dinah who was looking at her phone intently, ignoring her. “Dinah? I thought this night is about us. Who are you texting?” Camila asked as she reached out to get Dinah’s phone.

At the last moment, Dinah raised her hand holding her cellphone away from Camila’s reach. “Chancho, tsk tsk tsk.” Dinah shook her head, acting like she’s chastising a child.

“So you can wrestle my phone away from me but I can’t do the same with you?”

“Once you gain about 20 pounds and 6 inches, you can try.” Dinah said as she smirked at Camila.

Camila sighed as she looked back at the menu. “I’m getting Hawaiian pizza.” She said after a few seconds. “Fries on the side.”

Dinah raised her eyebrow at Camila. “Comfort food, today I see.”

Before Camila can answer, the waitress arrived and took their order.

“So tell me about last night,” Dinah asked when the waitress left.

“There’s nothing to tell. I was there, Lauren was there. We talked a bit. A fan came in took a picture with us. Then we talked some more or rather she pissed me off and I walked out.”

“So you meet again after almost ten years and the first thing you do is pissed each other off?”

“What can I say, she knows how to push my buttons.” Camila said as she leaned back on the chair thoughtfully.

“How would she even know what buttons to push?”

Camila looked away in response.

“You can’t tell me that after all these years…”

“Of course not.” Camila said defensively. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I may have miscalculated.” Dinah quietly said after a few seconds. “Maybe you’re not yet ready.”

Camila eyed Dinah with suspicion. “What do you me--?”

“Hi Dinah.” A husky voice said from behind Camila.

Taking a deep breath, Camila slowly turned around from the oversized chair and peeked through the side. There was Lauren wearing the same confused look that Camila felt inside.

“Guys,” Dinah laughed nervously. “This is just dinner among friends… old bandmates… reunion of sorts… no tension here. Because it’s been ten years. And we have all grown and moved past the drama of yesteryears. It’s totally fine. Nothing to be awkward about.”

“Who said anything about being awkward?” Lauren said after a few seconds of silence. “Unless Camila doesn’t want me to be here.”

“No, of course not. Take a seat.” Camila said forcing a smile onto her face and then turning to Dinah to make a face. But she immediately forced the smile back when Lauren walked over to Dinah’s side and took the seat next to their friend.

Lauren coughed as she picked up the menu and started looking through it intently. “I’ll probably just have a salad,” she announced after a few minutes.

Dinah called the waitress and waited until she left. Then she rambled on again while both Lauren and Camila just nodded.

“So… are you both just going to sit there while I speak the entire time?” Dinah finally said, exasperation coloring her voice after talking straight for five minutes.

Camila shook her head as she let out a deep sigh. “I don’t know. What do you want me to say?”

“Ditto,” Lauren added.

“Aren’t you even guys interested in what happened to each other after all these years? I know what happened to you,” she said pointing to Camila. “And I know what’s going in your life,” she added pointing to Lauren. “And you both know what’s up with me.”

Camila looked down at the table unconvinced.   

“Ten years guys, ten years. Can we just get over our young stupid selves? Those years in Fifth Harmony, it wasn’t all that bad. Maybe the last year you were there Mila. But before that, you have to admit we had fun.”

“What’s this about Dinah?” Lauren asked. “Are you gunning for a Fifth Harmony reunion?”

“What I want is my group of friends from ten years ago to start talking again.”

“I don’t see Ally and Normani here.” Camila pointed out.

“Cause they’re ready anytime. Well… anytime after they’re convinced that there is no longer any drama between the two of you.”   

“Me and Lauren?” Camila asked innocently.

Dinah rolled her eyes in response. “I’m going to the restroom and making a phone call,” Dinah said as she stood up. “No fighting until I get back.”

Camila looked on as Dinah walked away. Her eyes squinting as she resisted the urge to run and follow her friend. Sighing, she leaned back and looking everywhere else except Lauren. They sat quietly in awkward silence until Lauren couldn’t stand it anymore.

“I’m completely sober right now. So don’t worry, I’m not going to do or say anything stupid like last night.”  

Camila looked up. “I wasn’t feeling like myself as well. I spent the past few days in the studio and I’m just tired.”

“Can we start over again, then?” Lauren asked.

Camila nodded in reply.

“Hi Camila. It’s so good to see you after all these years. I’ve listened to your songs and they’re really amazing.”

“Thanks Lauren. You’re voice hadn’t changed a bit, I still get goosebumps listening to you sing.”

Lauren smiled at Camila gratefully. “And I miss you,” Lauren added. “I miss being friends with you.”

“Me, too,” Camila simply responded as she brushed strands of her hair from her face, starting to feel anxious again.

“How’s Sofia?” Lauren quickly changing the topic to something more neutral.

“Sofia is in uni, can you believe it?” Camila appearing more relaxed. “She’s getting a medical degree.”

“Damn, that little girl is going to be a doctor soon.”

“Not that little anymore.”

“Well fuck me, I suddenly feel very old. Not wiser mind you, just older.”

Camila let out a laugh. “Still the potty mouth, I see.”

“Yeah, that’s part of this package.” Lauren said pointing to herself as she wiggled on the chair. “How about you?”

“Cleaned up my act on that front except when singing sometimes it’s just adds that little extra punch.”

“Well you’re welcome.”

“What?” Camila asked, a little confused.

“You know, without this bad influence in your life,” Lauren pointed to herself again, “you obviously had ---.”

“You’re not a bad influence, Lauren.” Camila said interrupting her. “I didn’t do anything that I didn’t want to back then.”

“That’s good,” Lauren smiled. “But on the flip side, just to let you know, you were a good influence in mine. I have this... WWCD.”

Camila raised her eyebrows in question.

“What would Camila do? But to be honest, I don’t always follow it. And then afterwards when it blows up in my face, I’d remember my all-in-my-head discussion point and counterpoint. And I’d say, damn, Camz really know what’s she’s talking about, the Camila in my head anyway,”

“Well if that’s the teenager Camila talking, I don’t really know what she could have said to help you. Wear more bows, pretend that you’re not terrible in dancing by going 150% and closing your yes, eat more bananas ---.”

“Be nicer to people. Laugh at yourself. If your joke don’t work the first time, try and try again until it does.”

“Oh… my two girls acting so civil and friendly.” Dinah gushed as she appeared out of nowhere. “I couldn’t be prouder. Maybe you two did grow up a bit.”

Camila looked at Lauren and for the first time in years smiled at her.


	4. Chapter 4

It was unexpected. Camila thought to herself as she closed the door behind her. The dinner and conversation earlier that night wasn’t without its awkward and tense moments but it was more peaceful that what she had imagined it would be. Not that she spent a lot of time imagining how it would be to meet with Lauren again. Well, not in the last few years anyway.

The night ended with them exchanging numbers and a promise to keep in touch. As Camila dropped her bag to the floor, she knew she wouldn’t keep that promise. She was almost halfway to her bedroom when her phone chirped from her bag. She almost tripped trying to get it.

Of course it was from Dinah.

Camila rolled her eyes at her actions. Fifteen years after meeting Lauren and here she was acting like a fifteen year old again. What a joke. So when she was almost asleep and she heard her phone again, she shut her eyes tightly and forced herself to dream land.

 **On the other side of the city,** Lauren was still out and partying. Sitting through that dinner with Dinah and Camila had unnerved her. It was like walking on eggshells. She couldn’t believe that after all these years she can still read Camila like a book. She knows what can set her off and almost did a couple of times but managed to pull her back to the safe zone. But there was this one moment, one moment when Camila smiled at her. And it was just like from before… before life came knocking. And then they had to watch everything they do. And even a smile can be dissected into hundreds of things. So the smile changed. She supposed hers too.

“One more?” A shot glass suddenly in her view disrupting her from her thoughts.

“Why not?” Lauren said as she took it and chugged it down in one gulp. Then after winking at the guy in front of her, she turned around and swayed over to the dance floor. Mid-stride, she took her phone from her pocket and almost dropped it, scrambling after it. Then after scanning it and not seeing what she was looking for, stuck it deep inside her pocket and grabbed another drink as a waiter passed by.

 **The next morning** , Camila off from her bed and immediately zoned into her phone. She spent the night and morning tossing and turning, actively trying to ignore her phone. She wanted desperately to check her messages but didn’t want to be disappointed so she didn’t. But now her splitting headache was telling her how bad of an idea it was. She decided if she waited for six hours, she could wait a few more. So she went to her bathroom, took a shower, and then wandered to her kitchen as she scrounged for left overs. And now sitting at her dining table, one foot atop the chair, chewing her heated pizza, her eyes were glued to her phone. She bargained with herself. If she eats the whole slice without peeking, then whatever is in there would be good news. But then as she took another bite, she wondered what is exactly good news for her. Is it to keep Lauren out of her life or welcome her back in? She was doing just fine as she was. Thank you very much. She was happy. Maybe not giddy happy but who is really at 30? Those are reserved for the young and foolish. And she was neither one of those.

Good thing it was her day off, so she didn’t have to worry about getting any important calls or messages. She can ignore her phone all day long if she feels like it. She then stuck her phone between her mattress with a satisfied grin. Five minutes later, she was sitting cross legged on the floor beside her bed staring at the spot she hidden her phone.

 **Lauren** woke up with a thud as she hit the floor in her living room. She apparently didn’t have enough energy when she got home a few hours ago to reach her bedroom and settled for her fashionably quirky but not that big of a couch. Cradling her head, she realized that it was the second time in two days she woke up with a hangover. The first one was because of her party and the second one was courtesy of one Miss Cabello. Then vaguely remembering sending a message to Camila, she looked for phone and almost fell again when she saw what she had written.

“Look, Dinah. I really need to talk to her.” Lauren said over the phone as she grabbed her keys and hurried outside. “I can’t just call her. It needs to be in person.” Lauren walked over to her car as she listened to Dinah talk. “Christ, just tell me where she fucking lives and we can all move on from this.”

In 30 minutes, Lauren was standing outside Camila’s door in mid-knock. For all her tough talk with Dinah earlier, they both knew it was merely an act. She was actually terrified but she had to do this. She moved her hand nearer the door. Or maybe she doesn’t. If she can live ten years after what happened between then, then she can live through this. Lauren withdrew her hand. Then just as she did a long time ago, she turned around.

“Lauren?”  

Taking a deep breath, Lauren spun around and faced Camila, expecting the worst.

“What are you doing here?”     

Lauren wondered at the calmness of Camila’s voice. Did she not get her messages?

“Are you alright? You’re paler than usual.”

“Did you by any chance gave me a fake number yesterday?” Lauren asked, forcing a laugh. “It’s okay if you did.”

“No, I wouldn’t do that,” Camila replied as she looked at Lauren thoughtfully. Then suddenly her eyes widened and without any warning she dashed inside her apartment. Lauren finally understanding that Camila hadn’t read her messages, scrambled in after her.

When they reach the bedroom and Camila had extracted her phone from between her mattress, they played this bizarre game of tug of war as they fought over the phone, crashing into Camila’s stuff all over the room.

“Lauren, get your hands of my phone,” Camila hissed between gritted teeth.  

“No. There’s something there that wasn’t meant for you. If you just give it to me, then I’ll delete it. No harm, no foul.”

“Are you out of your mind? Are you expecting me to just hand you my phone for you to do what you want with it?”

“Yes.” Lauren answered as if it was the most reasonable thing to do.

“I’m not a naïve eighteen year old, Lauren if you haven’t noticed.” Camila said her eyes blazing in anger. “I’m not going to give you my heart again---.” Camila shocked at the words that left her mouth, released her hold on her phone. Lauren equally shaken at her words dropped her hands to her side, phone forgotten.  

Then suddenly without warning, Dinah came waltzing in with her hands over her eyes. “Okay if I think you’re doing what I think you’re doing, then I don’t want to see. But I just want to ensure that you’re not killing each other.” Then still giddily smiling, she peeked through her fingers. What she found was a bedroom in disarray and her two friends dazed and just about to cry. It was enough to turn her smile upside-down.   


	5. Chapter 5

“What’s happening here?” Dinah asked as her eyes darted between her two friends.

“Nothing,” Camila answered as she stepped back from Lauren.

“Doesn’t look like nothing.” Dinah said as she eyed the mess.

“I just needed to get something from her.” Lauren spoke up quietly. “I sent her some messages by mistake.”

“What?” Dinah turned around and looked at Lauren in disbelief. “Is this another one of your drunken tirade?”

“Yes.” Lauren looked down at her shoes as she shuffled nervously.

Dinah sighed before turning back to Camila. “Have you read them?”

Camila shook her head.

“It’s probably for the best if you don’t. Lauren… well you know how she likes to ran off at the mouth.”

“Yes, I am intimately aware of that. I have been a recipient of many of them.”

“It has gotten worse. Add ten years and alcohol and who knows what else she is taking.”

“I’m right here, guys.” Lauren spoke up again. “I can hear. And just so you know, I’m clean as a whistle. Not dry but clean.”

“Believe me, you don’t want to know what she wrote, whatever they are.” Dinah said ignoring Lauren.

Camila grabbed her phone from the bed and then shook her head.

“Mila, you two are just starting to reconnect. Do you really want to lose that chance because of some stupid texts from Lauren?” Dinah reaching out her hand for the phone.

“You both have to leave,” Camila said, her tone firm as she pocketed her phone.

Dinah stared at Camila for the longest time before finally giving up. She looked at Lauren and tilted her head towards the door. Both walked out as Camila watched them. When they were outside and the door safely closed behind them, Dinah stopped and faced Lauren.

“What did you send to her?”

“The truth, whatever it was last night.”

“Is she gonna hate you for it?”

“Probably,” Lauren said as she looked back towards Camila’s door.

“God… what a mess. You know how much I shipped you two back then and maybe I never did stop.” Dinah said as she hooked her arms around Lauren’s waist and steered towards the elevator. “I honestly didn’t know if it was real between the two of you but there was definitely something there. And you always included me and it was fun and warm and comforting. And then one day, it all just stopped.” Dinah sighed again. “I miss it.”

“Awww... you’ll always be the first born camren baby, Dinah.” Lauren said as she walked alongside her friend. “I’m sorry you had to go through the pain of the separation and the divorce. But know that it was not your fault. And we both love you.”

Dinah stopped and stared at Lauren. Then without warning, started laughing. “You are really crazy. But don’t think I didn’t notice that you didn’t put up too much of a fight earlier. You just let her have her phone.”

“What do you mean? I was trying to wrestle it from her before you came in.”

“Then you just stood idly by like a meek sheep afterwards.”

“Well maybe I thought it’s time she finds out the truth from me… my version of the truth anyway.”

“So there really was something?” Dinah asked.

“There’s just some things that children should never know about their parents,” Lauren teased as she slipped away from Dinah’s hold on her.

“You are a horrible horrible horrible person, Lauren Jauregui.”

“All teenage daughters hate their parents. One day, you’ll realize it’s all for the best and ---.”

“Lauren,” Camila’s voice cut through the hallway, interrupting whatever it was that Lauren’s was about to say.

Lauren turned towards the voice.

“Can you come back here? Please.”

Lauren glanced towards Dinah who nodded at her.

“I’ll call you later, Dinah.”

“Sure Chancho.” Dinah called back as the elevator door opened. Then with a wink at Lauren, she boarded it and was gone.

Lauren stood frozen on the hallway, unable to move a muscle as she pondered at what was about to happen.

“Are you coming?”

Lauren breathed in deeply, crossed herself, and then slowly walked back towards Camila’s apartment.

**Camila**

The time it took Lauren and Dinah to reach the elevator was more than enough for Camila to read through all of Lauren’s drunken text.

_“Hey Camz!!!”_

_“It’s me, Lauren.”_

_“Jauregui. In case, you forgot.”_

_“What a night, right?”_

_“God… ten years. Has it been that long?”_

_“You there? Camz? Camz? Camila?”_

_“Is this a fake number?”_

_“So what if it’s fake. I’ll just pretend that I’m talking to you. That’s what I’m good at anyway. Pretending.”_

_“They say that confession is good for the soul. Maybe it’s time that I do that.”_

_“Oppsss…. I just spilled tequila on me. That’s a fifteen dollar stain on my clothes.”_

_“Where was I anyway? Confession, right. So… Ms. Fake Camila. Where do I begin when there’s a lot to say.”_

_“Logic says to start from the beginning. But I’m too drunk to do that. I’ll start at the end. Or maybe start at the middle, then to the end and then to the beginning. Or maybe I should start after and then work my way up to when we last saw each other.”_

_“Or maybe I should just stop. My fingers hurt from typing and you’re not answering.”_

_“It’s been two hours. Are you really going to ignore me?”_

_“I’m fine. I actually am. It’s just when I’m drunk, I tend to reminisce about old times and seeing you well, it definitely brought back a specific period in my life… well our lives.”_

_“I just want to say sorry.”_

_“Sorry for everything that I did and everything I did not do.”_

_“And that you were right.”_

_“Not that it matters now. Because we are ten years removed and have both moved on with our lives. It’s just me remembering.”_

_“I’m going to shut off my phone now and party like its 2017!!!”_

_“Maybe just one more… so here it is… I really did care for you. In my own twisted way, I did love you. I’m sorry if I ever made you doubt yourself. I wasn’t ready. And I was so lost in my own head, I couldn’t see what I was doing to you. But hey, it worked out for the best, right? Look where you are right now.”_

_“Fuck… I really hope you gave me a fake number.”_

Camila was rereading the text when Lauren stepped back inside the apartment. “I’m impressed. Drunk and still grammatically correct.”

“And that’s what you got from all of my ramblings?” Lauren asked as she closed the door behind her and leaned her back towards it, running her hands through her hair nervously.

Camila placed her phone down and then raised her head to look at Lauren. “You kept pushing me away and then drawing me back in. Again and again.”

“I know.”

“At the end I didn’t know left from right, up from down, right from wrong.”

“If it makes you feel better, I wasn’t doing a lot ---.”

“You hurt me.” The accusation slicing through the tension in the apartment. “Of all the people there, I didn’t expect that it would be you who’d do that to me. I was too young to feel that way.”

“Well I was young, too.” Lauren said defensively. “And I was confused and as frightened as you were.”

“And then you had to gall to come out to be with another girl. How’d you think that made me feel?”

“I wouldn’t know. You wouldn’t talk to me.”

“What did you expect me to say… Lauren, choose me.” Camila said as she let out a bitter laugh. “I almost did, honestly. I’m glad I didn’t because that would have been the epitome of stupidness and I don’t think I would have recovered from that.”


	6. Chapter 6

“How could I? How could I choose you? You know what they said back then... we can do what we want to make it seem real but never ever make it real or else we are done. We’ve worked so hard to throw it away.”

“So you decided to just throw us away instead.”

“What do you want me to say, Cams? I was young and stupid.”

Another awkward silence filled the apartment.

“You know what, there’s nothing that I want you to say. It’s all history anyway.” Camila said after a few seconds. Then she stood up from where she was sitting and shrugged. “So, I still don’t know how to cook but I’m pretty good at ordering takeout.”

Lauren frowned at the sudden change in Camila.

“What do you want? Chinese? Pizza? Sushi?”

“Maybe I should just go.” Lauren said, her hand on the door, a confused looked on her face.

“No, come on, stay. It’s nearly lunch. And if we really want to move on from the past, we need to start somewhere, right?”

“I guess…”

“I know this great sushi place. It serves the freshest. I eat sashimi now. Can you believe it?”

“You mean you don’t cry anymore when someone forces you to eat raw fish?”

“I’m not a cry baby anymore, Lauren.” Camila said as she made a face then proceeded to dial and order.

While waiting for Camila, Lauren walked around the apartment, looking at the pictures scattered around the place. It was a mix of family photos and Camila’s photos with various celebrities and fans throughout the years. There were that occasional pictures with Camila holding awards, trophies, or plaques.

“Were you looking for something specific?” Camila asked from behind Lauren, startling her.

“No.”

“The Fifth Harmony pictures that you were not looking for are in the bedroom.” Camila said. “One’s first are always special regardless of how they ended.”

“Well, now that you mentioned it, I don’t see any pictures of you and your latest boyfriend.”

Camila let out a laugh and then looked at Lauren with one eyebrow arched. “Must we play that charade as well?”

Lauren turned around and faced Camila.  “Well, I wasn’t sure if it was just a phase for you.”

Camila hummed in response as a knot formed between her eyebrows.

“We were both so young then and then you went on your string of boys.”                                                          

“Well, you know.” Camila’s face relaxed as she sat down back on the couch. “It was sort of in the contract,” she added with a shrug. “And everyone involved knew what it was so there were no expectations, no feelings. And it was sort of fun.”

“Really?”

“Yah. I didn’t mind. I didn’t really want to share that part of me to everyone, so having a good cover story was very, you know, comforting.”

Lauren nodded as she sat down beside Camila and another period of silence descended in the apartment. It was less awkward than the last one and was broken when the doorbell rang. Camila stood up and went to get the food. She was about to close the door when she felt Lauren standing right behind her.

“Let me help you.” Lauren said as she took one of the bags and headed to the kitchen.    

Camila stood frozen to the door. Even if it was just for a second, she can still feel the warmth of Lauren’s body and her smell… her smell when it was stripped of all the perfume and makeup… her smell which was all hers.

“Where are the plates?” Lauren calling out from the kitchen shook Camila from her reverie. Shaking her head at her own absurdness, Camila followed the voice to the next room where she found Lauren looking at her phone.

“I’m sorry, I have to go,” Lauren said when she saw Camila entered the kitchen. “My producer just texted me. They need me to come in to the studio right now. Apparently one of the recordings we did had some issues.”

“Oh,” Camila exclaimed softly. “When work beckons…”

Lauren grabbed her bag from the living room and headed to the door. She had almost closed the door behind her when she suddenly turned around and peek back inside. “It would have been fun to see you eating raw fish without trying to squirm, gag, and cry all at the same time. I really would have to see it to believe it.”

“Maybe you’ll get the chance in the future lern jergi,” Camila answered. The two nodded to each other and shared a quick smile before parting.

**Outside the Apartment**

Lauren almost ran towards the elevator in her hurry to get away. She didn’t really get a message from her producer. She lied. She had to get away. Being near to Camila was bringing too many emotions to the surface. There was guilt, anger, sadness, regret. And then that one emotion she didn’t expect to feel… hope. She wasn’t ready to deal.  

**Few Weeks Passed**

Lauren had just arrived from her flight and hadn’t even opened the lights when she saw a silhouette on her balcony. All thoughts of sleeping soundly on her bed disappeared from her mind as she grabbed one of the heavier figurines near her. She then slowly walked to the open balcony door and was about to raise the figurine when the silhouette suddenly turned.

“Camila?”

Camila eyed the naked lady statue in Lauren’s hands with alarm before breaking into a smile. “Dinah let me in. I guess you didn’t get my messages.”

“No, my phone died,” Lauren said as she turned around, unable to look at Camila.

Camila’s smile melted into a frown. This was like all those years ago when Lauren started to push her away. “And was it dead when I sent you messages four weeks ago? Three weeks ago? Two weeks ago?”

Lauren put down the figurine on the floor and then ran her hands nervously through her hair. “Camila… I…” Lauren looked down, looking like she’d rather be somewhere else rather than where she was right now.

“I thought we were friends.” Camila said, unable to hide the hurt in her voice. “Or on our way to becoming one again.”

“That is not a good idea,” Lauren said as she ran her fingers through her hair once again. “I mean, why would you even want anything to do with me after everything that happened?”

It was Camila’s turn to look pensive as she debated on how to answer that question. There were dozens of reasons to leave and only a few to stay. But just because something is more, doesn’t mean it’s better. Sometimes it’s the few that weighs the most.    

“Because you’re Lauren,” she finally said.  “As much as I pushed away from you, I find myself drawn back to you. As much as I love another, I can’t stop comparing them to you. Which was silly because everytime I did that, you always end up way way down at the bottom.”

Lauren raised her eyebrows at Camila and gave her a questioning look.

“I’m sorry but that’s the truth,” Camila continued. “You were kindda of a bitch to me. You’ll be searing hot one second and ice cold the next. I didn’t know a lot of times if you’ll be hold my hand or push it away.”

“And yet you always reach out for mine.” Lauren said softly.

Camila answered with a smile. “I was young and foolish, too.”

“Just because we’re older and stronger and wiser doesn’t mean it will work out.”

“I know.”

“I am still a straight up bitch. If I think something is right, I’ll fight you tooth and nail. And I’ll rant until my voice goes out or my fingers hurt.”

“I know.”

“I can still get very moody. I’ll just ----“

“Lauren,” Camila interrupted as she placed her hand over hers. “I’m not asking you to marry me and live happily ever after. I’m just asking to be your friend. And after that, who knows… let’s just take it one step at a time.”

Lauren thought it over. Would it actually work? Would this end up differently this time? Of course, she wouldn’t know the answer. But there’s one that she does know. It was worth trying again. “I think I’d like that. I’d like that very much.” Lauren said then she reached over to give Camila a hug. She closed her eyes for a second, breathing in that clean scent she hadn’t smelled in years. Then when she opened her eyes, they widened in surprise at the scene before her. She didn’t notice earlier when she thought there was an intruder inside her apartment. “Wait… why are there banana peels all over the living room? People can slip and hit their heads.”

Camila pulled back slightly embarrassed. “I didn’t know what time you’ll be arriving, so I brought some snacks with me.”

“Camila…”

“You know what… good talk… and I know you’re tired so I better go.” Camila said as she stood up. “Let’s have breakfast tomorrow. I’ll call you or knock down your door, whatever works.” She added as she grabbed her purse and hurried to the door.

“Aren’t you going to clean this up?” Lauren’s voice raising a notch.

“What can I say… you’re still bossy and I’m still messy. I guess that didn’t change in ten years. Ciao!”

And then there was silence.

Lauren who was still sitting on the couch, stared at the closed door, a smile forming on her lips.

**The End**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're at the end of this journey. Did you like it? Did you enjoy reading? Do you want more? Let me know. I'd love to hear your thoughts.


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